This is a time when many people are looking forward to some celebrations, maybe dreading some things also, maybe feeling stressed about everything that seems like it MUST get done before 2021 draws to a close.
If burnout is part of your reality right now, it is likely making it feel like everything is urgent.
In her book, Wintering, Katherine May described this feeling well:
“I’m tired, inevitably. But it’s more than that. I’m hollowed out. I’m tetchy and irritable, constantly feeling like prey, believing that everything is urgent and that I can never do enough.”
Holidays can certainly contribute to that feeling. Excitement and anxiety actually feel very similar. Many people find that they begin the season with a sense of excitement about upcoming celebrations, later to find that everything has come to feel seriously stressful, even things they were looking forward to earlier.
Some considerations for countering burnout over the holidays:
1. What is a must and what is actually optional?
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by an urgent list of things that still need to get done, ask yourself (and include your family if appropriate), what feels important this year and what just doesn’t? What could just as easily happen December 28th or January 15th? You’re not setting a precedent, or answering this question for all holidays from here on out. Answer for this year only. Next year is its own thing.
2. What expectations from others are influential?
Everyone has things that are important to them during the holidays. Maybe you have kids or parents you don’t want to disappoint, bosses or employees who need things done by the end of the year, or a friend whose New Years Eve get together won’t be the same without you. Rhetoric on this tends to be a bit preachy. Either we are encouraged to prioritize what some cultural authority believes to be the “right” things (church, family, etc.), or we are told we should tune out the expectations of others altogether.
Neither approach feels especially helpful or entirely realistic. We can engage with expectations in a mindful and caring way, without giving all expectations equal wait. What expectations feel important to meet and what expectations are actually negotiable? Where would disappointments be pretty minor?
3. How can time off be generative?
If you are taking time off, you may find it easy to fill that time with things that feel like obligations, shoulds you have to meet, or other people’s ideas about how vacation time should be spent. Think about what would generate energy in your life right now. Family time? Alone time? Spiritual practices? Exercise? Sleep? Deep cleaning the kitchen? What would you do with your time off if you trusted yourself to know what is life-giving for you?
However the end of 2021 finds you, I hope you find moments of joy and space to breathe as we exit the old year and enter the new.
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Kathryn Stinson
I help passionate people identify and dismantle the cultural drivers of burnout, so they can serve their big visions without burning out. Find information and strategies for dealing with burnout here, or reach out to work with me.
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