Each time I’m invited to give a presentation on burnout, one of the inevitable questions in the Q&A that follows is, “What exactly are the stages of burnout?”
I can understand why people ask this question. Human brains need frameworks to hang concepts on. And anyone who has taken a Psychology 101 class was trained in the ways of stages. Kubler-Ross’s stages of grief are probably the most well known example, but there are many more.
It’s especially tempting for burned out people to subscribe to a stage theory. We’re overwhelmed, exhausted, and mentally foggy, and the idea that there are known stages offers us assurance that we’re on a well worn path, that there was a clear way in and there is a clear way out.
The problem with that is that not everyone got here the same way, and there isn’t one way out.
That’s good news!
There are many, many ways out.
But all of those possibilities can feel daunting when we’re beaten down and not sure what our next steps should be. It doesn’t help that we’re encouraged by most self help approaches, and by the fact that every improvement story ever written was written in hindsight, to think that change is linear and predictable.
The way most of my clients come in expecting change to happen looks something like this:
But the way change actually happens looks more like this:
It’s important to know this because otherwise, we might think we’re failing.
We might think other people who are smarter and more together are figuring it out faster, and we just losers who can’t stick to a program.
Maybe we buy another self help book and commit to trying harder. Maybe we read about someone else’s process and try to map it onto our own and then feel less than because that doesn’t work.
I promise: This is just what real change looks like. The problem has never been your commitment or your effort or your imperfect knowledge. The problem is our collective tendency to oversimplify and the expectations ingrained in us by the productivity and self help industries.
This month, don’t worry about a system or five step plan. Just try a thing and see how it goes. Then try another thing….
Share this article
Kathryn Stinson
I help passionate people identify and dismantle the cultural drivers of burnout, so they can serve their big visions without burning out. Find information and strategies for dealing with burnout here, or reach out to work with me.
Subscribe
Each month I take a deep dive into one aspect of resisting burnout.
Monthly Deep Dive Letters name cultural dynamics that generate burnout and open doors to imagining how we might do things differently. For examples of what I write about, take a look at the blog.
No productivity tips, and no motivational pep-talks. Just in depth, thoughtful content to support you in resisting burnout culture. You’ll also be notified of new events and programs.
