I’m not the first person to ask this question.
Susan Henkels has been asking for years.
But I ask the question here because the perception that there’s something wrong with you has a lot to do with burnout, and a certain type of marketer has been on a campaign for a long time to convince you that a. Something is definitely wrong with you, and b. There’s a solution you can purchase.
People who have burned out are usually convinced the problem is with them. Other people seem to have no trouble keeping up with this schedule, this workload, this stress level. Right? (Well, no, actually, but that’s a whole other topic.)
The usual suspects on the “What’s wrong with me” list for burned out people looks something like this:
- I don’t handle stress as well as other people.
- I’m a wuss. I need to suck it up.
- I’m lazy.
- I’m not on top of my ADHD (or autism) like I should be.
- I’m lacking self control.
- I’m unorganized.
But friends, I’ve yet to meet a single burned out person where the root of the problem was actually any of the above.
What if you could actually trust that if you’re struggling, there’s a valid reason, and that reason is not a character flaw? What if:
- There is too much stress or pressure or generally unreasonable expectations.
- You’ve already sucked it up more than is reasonable, and you’ve hit capacity.
- You’re so in need of rest, your system is shutting down despite your considerable efforts to do more.
- You don’t have the supports for ADHD (or autism) that you could have.
- The amount of stuff you’re trying to organize is actually unreasonable for one person.
If you can trust that you feel the way you feel for valid reasons, you can get curious about what those reasons might be, and approaching with curiosity is far more likely to help you solve the problem than trying to wrestle yourself into submission.
So take a moment to reflect on all the things you typically tell yourself must be wrong with you. Then see if you can approach with curiosity and ask yourself, what if nothing is actually wrong with you?
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Kathryn Stinson
I help passionate people identify and dismantle the cultural drivers of burnout, so they can serve their big visions without burning out. Find information and strategies for dealing with burnout here, or reach out to work with me.
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Each month I take a deep dive into one aspect of resisting burnout.
Monthly Deep Dive Letters name cultural dynamics that generate burnout and open doors to imagining how we might do things differently. For examples of what I write about, take a look at the blog.
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